“I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.” – Unknown
When we get invited to events, parties, baby showers, etc. we have the choice to either RSVP “yes” or “no”, correct? And most of the time, the reason is either due to scheduling, illness or we just don’t feel like it. We are okay with either accepting or declining those invitations but what about the invites for unhealthy conversations (a.k.a. arguments), especially with people who don’t try to understand both sides (a.k.a. difficult people).
Why do we tend to RSVP “yes” to those invitations?
Sometimes arguments are inevitable. Of course, most of the time, they happen when two or more people do not agree on a topic that is being discussed. Everyone has their own opinion on the matter and an argument ensues. Right? However, people who have mastered the art of maturity will either respect the other person(s) opinion or apologize if they were the person who was wrong in the matter.
However, that is hard when dealing with a difficult person. And we all have come across one or more of those type of people. They tend to be the ones who seem as though they aren’t happy with their own circumstances, the world is “against” them or they just can’t get “it” right. Therefore their anger, anxiety and frustration gets taken out on everyone else.
Don’t feed into it.
Don’t water a plant that isn’t growing.
Every argument that begins to surface in your presence, towards you does not need your attention. Yes, it can be hard to walk away, especially if your character is insulted or the person just won’t let up. It’s hard not to have a retort especially when the other person is spewing lies. And it’s hard not to defend yourself even when that person is not listening.
I’ve allowed myself to enter arguments with various people where I knew that it wouldn’t be a fair interaction and I have my bullet points to say anyway. In addition to my opinions being voiced, I also allowed myself to either stoop to that same person’s level and have my peace majorly disrupted. And in stepping back from the argument and/or debate and allowing that person(s) to keep up with their dialogue, I realized “There is no point in me continuing.” That person has already made it up in their mind that their opinion or what they have to say, is the only thing that matters, they just wanted everyone else to know.
You can’t control someone’s level of perception. And it’s not your job to try to educate them. If someone makes it a point to purposely not understand you for whatever reason, then that’s an argument that you need to decline an invitation to.
You do not have to engage.