One day at a time

photo of green aloe vera plants

Over the past month and a half, my ankle has been in pain and swollen (on and off). I finally went to a specialist today and she worked her Hogwarts, Merlin, out of this world magic and it feels a thousand times better.

While she was giving me my treatment, she began explaining to me the extent of my issue, she informed me that I injured my ankle without realizing. So due to the injury, the whole time, my body has been trying to heal my ankle itself. She then proceeded to say “It’s not necessarily the injury itself that caused the pain, it’s the healing process.” And although she was referring to physical ailments, it got me thinking about the healing process within ourselves.

I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through a tough situation and repressed so much anger, hurt and resentment because I wish I could’ve gone back in my time machine and changed the outcome. I wasn’t allowing myself to heal because I knew it would hurt.

The saying “what’s done is done” is very true. Yes it may sound harsh when someone says it but if you really ponder it, what is it about what happened can you change? Nothing.

The only thing to do from there is heal.

I think it’s human nature to be afraid to face the things, people or situations that hurt or offended us. We’re afraid of acknowledging that it happened. We’re afraid of looking or feeling weak or even scared. And we’re afraid that the healing process won’t heal us.

But it will.

When the relationship between my children’s father and myself ended, I have to admit it felt like a weight lifted. And although it was a blessing in disguise that it was over, the healing process was long and painful. I had to figure out who I was all over again (which actually has been a great learning experience). Revamp the kids and my daily routine. Try to work on the co-parenting aspect (which is still a process). And basically just figure Life out all over again because everything changed.

I absolutely had numerous moments of doubt which were painful. Moments where I beat myself up for not saying this or not doing that in a particular situation that was long gone. And times where I literally said to myself: If I could go back…

But I couldn’t go back. And once I realized that I couldn’t go back and accepted that I couldn’t go back, was when the healing process really took control. I accepted and acknowledged the things I did wrong, in addition to forgiving what was done to me (that’s been a struggle too).

I put off the healing process because a part of me didn’t want to heal. A part of me was used to the “suffering” and knew how to handle that part, so I stayed there.

But I encourage you to heal. I encourage you to face whatever demons (whether caused by you or not) come your way. I encourage you to find strength in your healing because that’s when the wisdom surfaces.

And I encourage you to give yourself time. There’s no deadline to healing. There’s no time limit. So allow yourself to heal.

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. –unknown

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