As I sit here with my glass of wine and my bag of mini powdered Hostess donuts watching White Chicks, I actually have a tad bit of “Mom Guilt.” Moms know what I’m talking about but for the people who might be a little bit confused, it’s when a mom feels guilt or shame in either enjoying something without her child/children or constantly second guessing themselves as mothers period.
It’s a real thing, look it up.
Yes I do feel guilty for enjoying my donuts without my babies. And yes I’m second guessing whether or not I should save them some knowing they don’t need sugar anyway.
This definitely goes deeper than just donuts and wine.
Moms wear many hats: counselor, chauffeur, chef, cheerleader, comedian, tutor, creative consultant, personal stylist, etc. I could literally go on but I’m pretty sure you get the idea.
And with all those various aspects of being a mom we are still hard on ourselves. Even though we know logically that we do the maximum and then some and we do it because we love the hell out of our child/children, emotionally we are having the toughest, longest running inner battle.
Was I hard too hard on them? Was the dessert too sugary? Did anybody see me tell them “no” in the store to the toy they asked for? Should I feel bad for going out with my girlfriends? Do I have to listen to the same story again this week? Did I raise my voice too high?
And worst of all: What will people think?
And on top of that, we are more worried about the people who don’t have children that are judging us.
Imagine worrying about someone’s thoughts about you as a mom and they never laid in a hospital bed, experiencing the worst kind of pain and the end result being a 6-9 pound human in your arms, that you get to take home after a few days for the rest of their lives.
However, that’s what it is.
We wish people wouldn’t judge how we dress our children. How we do their hair. If we ordered pizza two nights in a row. That we call someone else to help them with their math because we just can’t figure out the new process. Or that we allow our children to figure themselves out because this world is hard enough as it is on the people who are pretending. Or that we do raise our voices after 4-5 times of trying to speak to them calmly. Or the frustration we show when know that our kids have so much potential but we feel it’s not being tapped into fully.
Some of us moms are doing this amazing job by ourselves and some of us have help.
But no matter our status (single, married or in a relationship), we’re the shit.
We get things done.
And we won’t stop.
Because at the end of the day, those beautiful beings are the only ones who know how our heartbeat sounds from the inside.