tox•ic•/toxic/•adjective 1.) of, pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin or poison: a toxic condition
Sometimes this also comes in the form of a person and unfortunately, I believe we all have dealt with people that exude negativity.
But the question is, why?
Why do we let ourselves ingest toxins from a toxic person? Why do we let toxic people breathe negativity in our positive atmosphere?
I’ve asked myself this question time and time again. I’ve been in relationships, friendships and just once in a lifetime situations where a toxic person got the best of me. And I always ask myself after the fact, why did I drink the poison?
Like in those cartoons where the symbol for poison on a bottle was a huge skull with a big “X” underneath it. So many times, I was shown signs of poison and still decided to slowly hurt myself. I believed in the back of my mind, that if I could survive a toxic situation, relationship or person, that I was strong. I had strength to deal with everything. That’s not always true.
I was slowly deteriorating my self-worth for someone who didn’t feel like I had any. I believed the slander that came out of their mouth about me, the actions they took to show they didn’t give two craps about me and the false modesty and/or apologies they had when I finally decide to detoxify my soul and mind to show them that I wasn’t going to drink the poison anymore. You see, most of the time, the words or actions toxic people throw at us is really how they feel about themselves. They just don’t how to address their issues or even take the steps to mend themselves.
So many times (too many to count), I was angry with myself for putting up with toxic situations and/or relationships all because I didn’t have the correct strength to say “no” or walk away. Subconsciously, I believed some of the lies they spit at me and my personal healing process was halted. It’s difficult to heal properly and effectively when the poison is still in your veins or you could keep feeding the poison to yourself.
The healing/detoxifying process can be very difficult and time consuming. And sometimes you WILL back track. That’s the healing process. That’s the journey. But it’s also the lesson. The teaching of it all is you’re better equipped to recognize toxic situations and people in the future and avoid them. Or you’ll be immune to the poison that tries to get force fed to you.
You’ll have the proper strength to handle it.