Don’t lose your light

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Yesterday after church, I decided to treat my kids to see A Wrinkle In Time. A story about a young girl dealing with the strange disappearance of her father and then ultimately getting the chance to conduct a search and rescue mission by beings from out in the universe.

It was a great film. The costumes, computer graphics, plot and acting were great. Not to mention it was one of my favorite books as a child.

But what really grabbed my attention was the message of the story.

Believing in yourself.

As people we can sometimes let our past experiences, people, sometimes family & friends and more importantly ourselves deter us from pursuing our goals and dreams. I’ve definitely been there and done that and will probably be there again because I’m human.

The young girl in the story let the disappearance of her father affect the way she lived her life, rightfully so. She became a different person and pushed people away (sorry if that’s a spoiler). The light that she had in her, disappeared. The trauma she experienced took over who she really was.

I’ve been in both situations where a negative experience affected me greatly and it also motivated me. As a parent, I deal with situations everyday where I question if I’m good enough for this experience or good enough for that task. I question if I’m even being a good parent. I’ve had times where I didn’t believe in myself at all, no matter how many times the people that truly loved and cared about me told me different. I’ve let negative experiences take my light away. I’ve let negative experiences stop me from pursuing my goals and dreams.

But a quote from the movie that actually made me a little emotional was: “You can do this, you’re choosing not to.”

How many times have we gotten motivated and then poof we’ve talked ourselves out of doing the thing we love most? More times than I count. Even with my love of writing, I’ve talked myself out of pursuing this craft.

You are your worst critic sometimes.

In saying that, I know it’s a journey to finally reach the point where confidence ensues every time you want to pursue something. I’m still on that journey. I’m still traveling the road where one day I’ll reach the destination where the belief in myself is always there.

But one day, I hope to get to the point where I don’t question the belief in myself. I will always choose.

 

 

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